Shattered
by 9BasketCase5
Summary: What happens with a child who has both the unyielding cleverness and ambition of Hermione Granger, along with the stubbornness and temper of Ron Weasley?
1. 17 Crimes

**We'll leave no heart unbroken...**

**Let's love, like 17**

**I'm in love with poisoning**

**Only bring your pretty frightful gifts to me**

**Let's love, and kill like 17 now.**

When they were being nice, my family said I had the unique qualities from both my parents. When they were being spiteful, they said I was the worst traits combined. So what happens with a child who has both the unyielding cleverness and ambition of Hermione Granger, along with the stubbornness and temper of Ron Weasley?

"SLYTHERIN!" the sorting hat yelled. The hall was so silent you could hear a pin drop.

As I got up and started walking, the Slytherin house all got up on their feet, the roar of their cheers deafening me.

I hesitated before choosing a seat next to another first year girl. She smiled at me as the last few got sorted. "Hi, I'm Fiona," she said.

"I'm Rose," I replied. It was like I was seeing everything through a dream; I hardly knew what was happening.

Soon I was eating, as if through a daze, and Fiona was making polite conversation with those around her. She pointed out her older brother down the table, and a few others she knew.

I followed the rest of the Slytherin house down to the dungeons, watching as the Gryffindors started climbing stairs. I hoped this wasn't symbolic for the path I was on. As I lay down in my bed, the tears came. What would I tell my parents?

.

Three years later…

.

I watched as my mum hugged Hugo; my dad reached out to me, and I looked around, slightly embarrassed, as he wished me luck this year. Hugo and I switched, and my mum was telling me to study lots and work hard. Over her shoulder, I spotted my best friend, Fiona, walking towards the train, alone, hauling her trunk.

I kissed my mum goodbye on the cheek and left to follow Fi, taking my trunk to the train. "Hey Fiona!" I called as I got closer.

"Damn!" she exclaimed. "You said they came in…are they _real_?"

"Fiona, stop staring," I hissed, shoving her onto the train. We lugged our things all the way towards the back, where the cars weren't separated by compartments. The first one was filled with second and third year Slytherins; feeling important, Fiona and I headed back another, filled with fourth and fifth years. "Thank Merlin I worked out over the summer, or I couldn't have made it this far with this damn thing," I muttered spitefully, kicking my trunk.

"Rose! Fiona!" a couple girls called. Looking up, I saw our other roommates, Cassandra and Addison. We made our way over, smiling and gave each other small hugs.

"How were your summers?" I asked, genuinely interested. Cassie's family was middle class but went on crazy adventures through their holidays; Addison was the only child of a rich businessman, and also a widower.

"We hiked around Africa," Cassie said, diving into a long story about the different magic she saw and the exotic animals. We started rolling away, and I eyed the opposite side of the car where our male counterparts were busy chatting, all sitting tall and looking dapper, as Slytherins should.

Addison told me about shopping in Paris and kissing a French wizard, the highlight of her summer.

And true to her character, instead of Fiona telling about hers, she felt the need to tell the other two to check out my newly developed curves and C cup bra. "Fiona, at least wait until we're in our dorm!" I exclaimed, my face turning beet red.

"But she's right," Cassie said. "I'm totally jealous. All the boys will be after you."

"Watch out; here some come now," Addie whispered.

"Ladies," a smooth voice cut in. "How are you?"

I looked up at Scorpius Malfoy, who was smirking, next to his best friend Blair Zabini. "Wonderful," Fiona replied sarcastically. "And you?"

"Perfect. We need to steal Weasley for a moment." Without waiting for an answer, Scorpius Malfoy was pulling on my arm and tugging me along to an empty bench.

"Don't call me that," I said sourly.

"Sorry, Rose," Malfoy said with another smirk. "So, down to business," he said as he sat smoothly. "Does Fiona have a boyfriend?"

"Not at the moment," I said, suspiciously looking at him. "You like her now?"

"Not me," he replied as Blair walked back towards the other girls. "Blair does." We watched as Blair sat in my vacant seat, smoothly entering the conversation.

"How was your summer?" he asked quietly as we observed Fiona blushing at something Blair said.

"Nasty. Yours?"

"Unpleasant."

Scorpius and I…we had an odd relationship. We could be honest with each other and not judge. We could rant and rage at the other, and not take it personally. We could cry or scream or punch walls with wrath, and we kept each other's secrets. To everyone else, Fiona was my best friend. But to me, my best friend is Scorpius.

We never brought up our conversations, never re opened old wounds, but I knew things I about him nobody else knew, and he knew my deepest secrets. We were completely comfortable around each other; we've even slept next to each other on occasion. Nobody else knew about our relationship either; that too was a secret.

"Did the Gryffindors get to you?" he murmured.

"Yes," I replied just as quietly. "And now I'm a soulless whore."

"Wonderful," he replied as Blair looked back and winked at him.

"How were your grandparents?" I asked.

"Like usual my grandmum tried to contain Lucius, and like usual he beat me. Ever since dad died…" His voice tightened, and, making sure it couldn't be seen, I edged my hand closer to where his was resting on the seat and touched my little finger to his. "I just wish my mum would stand up for me."

"You should tell someone else," I said for the hundredth time.

"You know I can't." His hand moved slightly closer to mine. "And how are you dealing with Abernathy?"

"That bastard is where he belongs," I hissed quietly. "I hope he rots in jail."

"I'm so sorry he hurt you," Scorpius murmured soothingly, crossing our little fingers. "I'm so proud of you for standing up for yourself, though."

"I don't think I'll ever trust a boy again."

"You can trust me," he assured me.

"I know. If I didn't have you, I think I'd kill myself," I said, only half joking.

"I feel the same way," he said with a sigh.

.

.

.

As the sun started to make its way across the sky, I noted Blair had left my seat, and returned. "Guess what?" Fiona asked excitedly.

"Hm?"

"Blair asked me to Hogsmeade!" she exclaimed.

"That's great," I replied with a grin. She babbled on about what they might do; I'd never seen her so excited. She'd never really had a proper boyfriend before, just a few dates, but she hoped he'd be her first real boyfriend.

We sat through the feast and made it back to the dorms before the real talk began. They asked me about my ex boyfriend, Nathan Abernathy, and I cringed.

I couldn't tell them the truth, because the truth was that he raped me, and I just couldn't come to say it. Nobody but my family and Scorpius knew the truth about why he wasn't at school anymore; his friends think he transferred to another school. But he was now serving time in Azkaban, which serves him right. I tried not to cry as I thought about it.

"He's just transferred to another school. I guess I drove him away," I joked half heartedly to Fiona.

"How are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm heartbroken," I said honestly. I didn't know he was like that, and I was starting to fall for him, and then he…he… "I really wanted him to be better than that."

"Better than what?" she asked.

"Better than the pig headed git he was," I replied without smiling.

"You know what?" Fiona said, smirking evilly. "The Slytherin Queen graduated last year."

"Yes," I said with a roll of my eyes. "And now there's a new one, Paige Avery."

"But you could be princess," Fiona said, her eyes lit with excitement.

See, Slytherin was filled with old rich families, and old traditions…and one of them was the continual crown of a Queen and Princess of Slytherin. The Queen, a sixth or seventh year, crowned the Princess, a fourth or fifth year, who would be the next Queen after the present one graduates or steps down from the 'throne'. The only criteria was that they had to be drop dead gorgeous.

"Fiona, you'd be much better suited to be the Princess than I would," I replied. "Plus she may choose a fifth year anyway."

"Are you kidding me?" Fiona dragged me off where I was sitting on my bed towards the full length mirror in the corner. "Look at you." I gazed at my familiar reflection; red curls and icy blue eyes.

"But look at _you_," I insisted. Fiona had straight blonde hair and beautiful big brown eyes, and a few cute freckles scattered over her nose and cheekbones.

"I couldn't follow the royal motto," she insisted. " 'Leave no heart unbroken'?" she shook her head. "I couldn't do it. But you could."

"Fiona's right," I heard from across the room. I made eye contact with Addison in the mirror. "You would be perfect."

"Thanks, girls, but I really doubt anyone in their right mind would crown me Slytherin's Princess."

"Whatever," Cassie said. "You need a better self esteem." We all got into bed and fell asleep, excited for a new school year.

.

.

.

Slytherin's Princess or not, I adored the motto. To leave no heart unbroken would suit me perfectly. So for this school year, I decided to never have a steady boyfriend, and to not get feelings for anyone. I was too young to be tied down, I decided, and would just have fun.

So when I got asked to Hogsmeade by Ryan Parker, a fifth year Ravenclaw, I said yes, knowing full well it would be one date with the mildly attractive guy. I didn't tell anyone but Scorpius about my plan to follow the motto, and he supported my decision.

"By you breaking other's hearts, you don't get hurt again. Of course I understand, completely."

So when the last weekend of September rolled around, I finished breakfast and waited for Ryan to come get me at my table. I waved to the girls and walked out with him.

"So where did you want to go?" he asked as we started walking to Hogsmeade.

"I don't really need anything in particular. Do you?"

"No, but I wanted to go to Honeydukes," he said. "We could just wonder around, maybe grab lunch at the Three Broomsticks?"

"Sounds good to me," I replied, smiling up at him. He had perfect teeth as he grinned back at me.

I actually enjoyed Ryan's company. He was funny and very considerate, but being a Ravenclaw of course we had to stop in the book store. I went straight for the fiction section while he browsed the biographies; I got a book, and he got three.

We also visited Honeydukes, where he bought me a sugar quill. I thanked him with a kiss on the cheek, and he had blushed, much to my amusement. We went into the Hogsmeade wing of Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes, and I glimpsed my uncle George when the door to the back room swung open once. Ryan bought a small variety box of sweets and we ended our shopping with a booth in the Three Broomsticks.

Ryan brought me a butterbeer from the bar, and had ordered a couple things for us to eat. We laughed and joked with each other, and I thought how it was a shame I wasn't getting attached to anyone, because he really was a great guy. We walked around for a while longer, and finally started walking back to the castle. I reached up and kissed him quickly on the lips, and he pulled me back for more. We kept walking, and he pushed me against a tree and snogged me senseless.

Unfortunately for him, I felt a butterfly. A single flutter in my tummy, and I was done. I didn't let him hold my hand as we walked the rest of the way up to the castle, and when he tried to kiss me again before we parted, I stopped him.

"Look, Ryan, today was great," I started.

"I sense a 'but' somewhere," he said with a frown.

"I just don't think it should go any further," I said.

"Did I take it too far?" He asked.

Time for the killer. "It's not you, it's me." I had to try my hardest not to crack up at that. No matter what, nobody ever liked that being said to them. Ever.

"I see," he said coolly. "Thanks for the date, Rose." He walked away without another word.

"That was cruel," I heard from behind me. I jumped; turning, I saw Paige Avery and two of her friends behind me.

"I'm a cruel person," I said honestly before walking away.

After telling Fiona what I did, she agreed with what Avery had said. "If you didn't break his heart, you definitely broke his pride," she said. "I could never do that to Blair, but then again I haven't been hurt like you have."

If only she knew.

Three months later, I'd gone through five different guys, all dating and dumping.

"You're just making it harder on yourself," Scorpius murmured. He was sitting in an armchair, four in the morning, in the Slytherin common room; I was straddling him, my legs crossed between his back and the chair, leaning forward with my cheek on his shoulder and my arms hugging his neck. He was stroking my hair and back gently as I listened to his beating heart.

"What to you mean?" I asked, just as quietly.

"You've become a challenge," he explained, his other hand moving to my lower back to where a patch of skin was exposed. "I've heard some other guys talking, and you're like a prize. They're trying to see who can last for more than a date with you; they're comparing, trying to see what went wrong."

"Oh," I said. "I'm sure eventually they'll figure out I'm a frigid bitch."

"You're not a frigid bitch. You're the kindest witch I know," Scorpius said.

"I wish I could believe that," I said sadly. We sat in silence for a while, until Scorpius stood up, me still wrapped around him. Wordlessly he carried me through the corridor to the boys' dorms; entering his room, he laid me down on his bed and took off my shoes and socks, before he partially undressed and laid next to me in the twin bed. Without hesitating, I laid my head over his heart to hear its beat. I fell asleep like that, feeling safe in the way I only could with Scorpius.

A few hours later I woke and made my way back to my room, the others still asleep, and was startled to see a big owl sitting on the corner of my trunk. A large package was attached to its leg. It hooted, making Addison stir. "What time is it?" she asked.

"Seven," I replied quietly. As soon as I got the package off, the owl took flight. Soon the girls were awake, and Fiona tore into my package for me.

"New bras?" she asked with a laugh. "For your date today?"

"No, I needed a bigger size," I said distractedly as I dug through the giant wardrobe we all wore. "Can I borrow your skirt?" I asked Cassie.

"Sure," she said as she poked her head out of the bathroom. "It looks great with that little green shirt Fiona has."

"You can borrow that too," Fiona said before I could even ask. "If you boobs can fit into it, that is. Seriously, a D cup?"

I snatched one of my new bras and ripped off the tags before claiming the bathroom after Cassie left. "I can't help it," was my only reply. I took a shower and let my hair resume its natural curls as I waved my wand to dry it. I dressed in the outfit, hoping I was going to be warm enough if I put my cloak over it.

"Who are you going out with today?" Fiona asked as Addison took the bathroom. She had changed while I was showering, so we waited for Addie before heading up for breakfast.

"Vincent Carder," I replied.

"A sixth year Gryffindor? You're on a roll," Cassie said as she finished doing her hair into a braid. "But you haven't found anyone to be your boyfriend yet?" she asked.

"No, not yet," I said with a small smile.

After everyone was dressed for the day, we started out for breakfast. "Have you heard?" Blair said as he came up to us and put his arm around Fiona. They'd been steady for the last few months, and adored each other.

"Heard what?" she asked.

"Paige Avery has apparently chosen a new Princess," he said. Even among guys, this was a big deal; whoever was chosen as royal was supposed to be the, for lack of better words, top dog.

"Who?" Fiona demanded. "Is it Ellen Carly?"

"She's supposed to make the announcement at breakfast, when most the house arrives."

"Let's go," Fiona said, speeding up the pace. I reluctantly followed along; no matter how much a person said they didn't care, she was always disappointed when she wasn't chosen as the princess.

We sat down and started eating, and got the obvious hint when our whole table fell silent. Paige Avery had stood up and smirked at all the people watching her; most of the other houses had quieted to watch the ordeal as well. "You all know the tradition of Queen and Princess has been passed on for over twenty years, since Slytherin house has regained its glory after the War," she said. "And as the current Queen, it is my pleasure to announce that the new Princess is Rose."

She didn't have to say my last name; I was the only one named Rose in the whole school. I froze, and my friends started clapping and cheering, which spread down the table through the hundereds of students. I refused to show any emotion whatsoever, but looked back at Paige, who was still smirking at me. She nodded, and I nodded back to her, before getting up and leaving the table.

In the hall, I was stopped by Albus. "Rose," he called, and sped down the last few stairs.

We had a rocky relationship ever since I was put into Slytherin. Cautious, I asked, "What?"

"My mum sent a letter for you with ones for us. Here." He held out a letter, still sealed. "Did you hear there's supposed to be a new Slytherin Princess today?" he asked. "It's such a weird tradition, but it means so much…hey, where are you going?"

I had started to walk away, and once out of sight I ran. I ran to Scorpius, of course. "What does this even mean?" I asked as I slammed into his dorm room.

"It means you're royal," He said with a shrug. He was sitting on his bed and reading a book. Scorpius looked up and assessed my face. "Don't read too much into it; it's just an upper classmen telling the world that you're the best of the next few years. But I already knew that."

I scowled and flopped onto the bed and rolled onto him, our legs getting twined together as I set my chin on his chest. He continued to read his book, but he rubbed my back soothingly. "It'll be alright. Nothing will change much; you're already the biggest deal to date. It may get a bit worse, but you'll make it through. Just don't do anything you're not comfortable with. Now go; Carder's probably anxious to go on his date with the Princess."

I followed his advice and left to the great hall, where Vincent was waiting for me. "Ready to go?" he asked brightly.

Merlin save me.

**We'll leave no heart unbroken...**

**Let's love, like 17**

**I'm in love with poisoning**

**Only bring your pretty frightful gifts to me**

**Let's love, and kill like 17 now.**


	2. Royals

**Let me be your ruler,**  
**You can call me queen bee.**  
**And baby I'll rule...**  
**Let me live that fantasy.**

All day I was stared at. I didn't mind, not particularly, but it was much more than usual. I even caught a few of my professors looking at me with interest. I'd already been asked out twice by the time I sat down in a huff for lunch, glaring as I picked apart my cold cut sandwich.

"I knew it," Fiona said as she sat down next to me. She looked unbearably smug, which deepened my scowl. "Stop, you'll get wrinkles." I rolled my eyes at her logic. "You didn't believe me," she said, continuing the one sided conversation. "But I knew. You practically live that motto."

"I just don't know what it really means, for me," I informed her. No matter how angry I was at life in general, it was hard to stay mad at Fiona and her cheerful, bubbly self. "People say it's more than a title, but what? What more is there to it?"

"I'm not really sure. I've heard that, too, but I guess it's just not common knowledge. Maybe you should go talk to Paige."

"Yeah, maybe," I said distantly. I had just spotted Hugo and Albus across the room, both talking and glancing at me. What did they think about my new title? It was a big deal, even with other houses. What did they think about their cousin having the highest status, elevated over all others until she was nearly unattainable? They must have already known about my frequent dates, how none of the boys lasted…Merlin, they would think I really did turn into a slut.

"Earth to Rose." I blinked and turned, looking to where Addison was sitting. "I said congrats; you ran off before I could say it this morning."

"Oh, thanks, Addie," I said. "I was just a little…overwhelmed."

"I would think so. You just became the second most popular girl in school," Cassie joked.

"I don't really need any more attention," I said honestly, finally pushing away my plate of picked apart food.

"That's too bad, because I'm sure this is only the beginning," Addie said. "Don't worry, to us you'll always be the same Rose who screamed like a banshee the first time she walked through a ghost."

"Must we keep bringing that up?" I sighed with a reluctant smile.

"If it gets you to laugh, yes," Fiona said. "Are you done? I want to go to the library before anyone else gets to the books we need for our Transfiguration project."

"That's a good idea, and I'm sure the Ravenclaws are thinking the same," I said, standing up. We walked to the library through the nearly empty halls. Thankfully the books we needed were still there, and we got to them first. "Wouldn't it just be a shame if we kept these until after the assignment is due?" I asked innocently.

"Let's add that idea to the list of why you're my best friend," Fiona said, giggling.

"Right at the top, near 'saves your ass from hexes', please," I said as we left to go drop off the books in our room.

"If you insist," she said absently, glancing over her shoulder. "Did you see someone?"

"No," I replied.

We were both looking behind us, and my heart nearly stopped when a voice in front of us said, "Looking for someone?"

My head snapped straight with a twirl of curly hair. Tim Katters, a Slytherin fifth year, was standing in front of us. "No one in particular," I said casually, completely disguising how much he had startled me.

Fiona, on the other hand, was doing worse at hiding her surprise at his sudden appearance. "You scared me," she accused.

"But our Princess is unaffected," he said with a smirk. "Are you going back down to the common room?"

"Yes," I replied, hooking my arm through Fi's and starting to walk. He fell in step beside us. "Did you need something?" I asked, a bit irritated. I'm still the same person, right? And just because Paige Avery crowned me Princess, I'm getting double the attention. I could just strangle that girl.

"Just wanted to get on a first name basis with the girl on everyone's minds," he said smoothly as we descended stairs. "You know, so I can brag to my friends."

"Of course," I replied sarcastically. "After the popularity. Or attention?"

"Don't be like that," he said with a smirk that didn't even begin to measure up to Scorpius's. "I'm just trying to compliment a pretty woman."

"I think she's made herself clear," Fiona said with a glare. "Leave her alone."

"You'll change your mind," he promised as we entered the common room. "I'm a fun guy. I'll save you a dance at the next party."

"Don't hold your breath," I muttered, now in an extremely pissy mood as we entered our dorm. "You know, I think I'll skip History of Magic. It's the only class this afternoon since I've got free period," I reasoned.

"I'll take good notes for you," Fiona offered. I nodded thankfully and she left, not wanting to be late again.

All afternoon, I stayed in the dorm and common room, doing various menial tasks. The more I thought about it, the better it seemed. I mean, now being the Princess, guys would know they didn't have much of a chance. But I could always play it up, get them to do things…like when I was little and played games where I was a Princess and Hugo was my servant. Maybe I'd get some nice jewelry out of it, who knows? I'd seen some of the things Paige has, claiming to be from guys asking her out. Another way to break hearts, I suppose.

It wouldn't be as bad as I initially thought, I suppose. I'd give it a try.

.

.

.

"Do your friends know when you're with me?" I asked Scorpius late one night as we lounged in a forgotten classroom not far from the Slytherin Dungeon.

"Sometimes. They've figured it out a few times. I'm fairly sure they think we're sleeping with each other."

I walked across to the chalkboard, idly scrawling some lyrics for whoever happened upon this dreary classroom next. "The girls still haven't even noticed when I'm gone. Fiona is a heavy sleeper," I mentioned.

Scorpius sprawled out on the large professor desk across the room. "You're better at sneaking than I am. You're like a lethal tigress, sneaking around; I'm like a big lumbering bear."

"Oh, whatever. You've snuck up on me quite a few times," I teased. "Remember that time you hugged me from behind and I almost hexed you because I thought you were an ex date?"

"How could I forget? That was just two months ago," he said. "It could have ended badly very easily."

"Lucky for you I know your hands and your touch," I replied, finishing writing. I dusted off my hands and walked over to him. "It's difficult for me to let anyone else touch me," I admitted.

"If that's really a problem, find a solution. Get someone you're comfortable with and practice," he said. "For Merlin's sake, choose a guy already."

"It's not that easy. I don't think I can ever trust anyone like that again," I said, my voice shaky.

Scorpius quickly sat up and pulled me into an embrace. "I'm sorry. I know. I'm just trying to help."

"I hope it was worth it for him," I angrily bit out, nuzzling my nose into the base of his neck.

"I'm sure his sentence in Azkaban will definitely make him regret it," Scorpius said. "We've got that test in the morning. Shall we pick this up tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I suppose." I grabbed his hand and we walked back to the common room. Before letting go, Scorpius gently pecked me on the mouth, kissing me goodnight. What would I do without him?

.

.

.

"Paige," I called, speeding up towards the girls' corridor. She paused and looked over her shoulder, stopping completely when she saw me.

"Yes?" she asked simply.

"Can we talk?" I didn't wait for her to follow as I made my way across the room to my favorite corner. I sat down in a huff.

"What did you need?" she asked, a bit annoyed.

"What does it mean to be Princess?" I asked.

She sighed and sat down next to me on the couch. "That's not an easy question, especially since I'm not yet sure."

"How are you not sure?" My frustration was growing.

Paige flicked her perfectly straight black hair over her shoulder. "I suppose I'll tell you what I was told, then." She straightened her skirt and sat straighter. Subconsciously I copied her movements as she began talking. "The Princess is chosen by the Queen because she has all the qualities; beauty, poise, perfection…and a real knack at breaking hearts. So I chose you, because you remind me of myself," Paige continued. "And you know Caroline, the Queen last year? We're just like her, too."

"Oh," I said stupidly. Apparently I wasn't a person of many words.

"And I don't know what more it is to be Queen than you do Princess, because I haven't learned it yet."

"Then how will we ever know?" I asked.

"Caroline learned in her seventh year, the true meaning of being Slytherin's royalty. All I know is that I'm supposed to keep her updated on my love life, and especially if I ever choose a permanent boyfriend." Paige shook her head. "It's a mystery for now. Only time will tell. But as Princess, you have to act it," she continued. "Perfect appearance, dress like everyday you're going to pose for a magazine. Keep fit and healthy, and keep your hair long, Rose, it looks gorgeous that way. Never appear ruffled or confused or angry; keep calm and collected or smile. And never ever get drunk at a party. I'll give you a list of spells I find useful as royalty, and one of them will be how to turn alcohol into water." Off in the distance the bell tolled. "I've got to get to class, but I'll get that list to you. I don't know much more about this whole thing, but rock the title and no one will question you. Remember, as true Slytherins, appearance and mystery are important." Without waiting for anything from me, she got up and gracefully floated across the floor, turning heads as the wall disappeared for her to exit.

I really had hoped to get more information, but if Paige really had no more than she said she did…Whatever. I'll just keep up the mystery, right?

I easily made it to Charms on time; I'd been practicing this walk where I could move quickly but appear graceful and poised at the same time. It did its job.

"So who should I go to the last Hogsmeade trip with?" I asked Fiona as I sat next to her.

"Oh, yeah, Christmas break is next week," she said with a nod. "Why don't you just come with me? Blair and I aren't going with each other, so we can do some present shopping."

"I think I'd love a break from the dates," I said, thinking aloud. "Are Addie and Cassie coming too?"

"I haven't talked to them about it yet, but rumor has it that Wyatt Yaxley is going to ask out Addison."

"Really?" I asked. I looked around the room to where Wyatt was sitting, flipping through his Charms textbook. "Do you think she'll say yes?" Wyatt was average looking but not very school smart, yet with a great sense of humor.

"I'm not sure. Possibly." We watched as he botched his spell, accidentially shattering the teacup he was supposed to be filling with a liquid.

"What's next?" I asked.

"Pumpkin juice," Fiona replied. She concentrated, but her teacup filled up once again with water. "You try," she invited, gesturing to the goblet in front of me.

I muttered the spell, thinking of the time Fiona had snorted pumpkin juice out of her nose at dinner after Addie told a funny joke. "Ha," I said as my goblet filled with a perfect colored liquid.

"Ten points to Slytherin," the elderly Professor Flitwick said as he passed our table. "Great job, Miss Weasley."

"It's Rose, please," I reminded him between gritted teeth.

"You would think he could remember a first name," Fiona said as she once again failed, this time getting a muddy substance in her mug.

"Alas, I will always be judged by my surname," I said dramatically, holding my hand across my heart, just as Scorpius was walking past. He snorted and raised an eyebrow at me, and I grinned. I knew exactly what he was thinking, that he would love to get away from his as well.

"When did he get so fit?" Fiona whispered. "I mean, I'm perfectly happy with Blair and all, but damn."

"Scorpius?" I asked, a bit stupidly.

"Yeah." Fiona looked at me like I was growing another head. "You, heartbreaker extraordinaire, haven't noticed?"

"I guess not," I replied with a hesitant shrug.

"It always amazed me how you could be so calm around him. I'm fairly sure Cassie's got a crush on him, too, and he seems to like you," she prattled on.

"We're just good friends," I replied.

"When did that happen?" she demanded.

"He's always easy to talk to," I shrugged. "We've gotten closer."

"Is that where you are when you're not in bed?" she asked, her mind clicking. "Rose, have you been shagging Scorpius Malfoy?" she hissed, her hand digging into my leg.

"Ouch," I said, shoving her hand off me. "No, of course not!" I exclaimed, loud enough to get attention from other people. Quieter, I whispered, "Don't you think I would have told you if we were sleeping together?"

"When you're gone, it's late…you come back sometimes ruffled up…"

"And here I thought you slept soundly through the night," I mocked. "I've got a touch of insomnia, and so does he. We keep each other company."

"Whatever you say, Princess," she said. "I can't tell if you're lying, but I was really excited. You two would look cute together, Slytherin royalty with…Slytherin royalty."

"What makes him royal?" I asked.

"His name, his line, said to be one of the last completely pure, which is what Slytherin originally stood for, you know," she said.

"So we're back to that," I said coolly.

"Oh, not at all, obviously. You know my mum's a half blood."

As class was dismissed, I shrugged once again. "I guess neither Scorpius nor I have ever really thought about the other like that. We're just friends."

"For now," she said happily skipping ahead towards Cassie.

"What does that mean?" I called after her, frustrated. Fiona was irritating sometimes.

"On your way to the common room?" Scorpius asked, falling in step next to me.

"Yeah," I sighed.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Fiona thinks we're shagging," I replied.

"I'll tell her to join the club," Blair said, appearing at Malfoy's other side.

"We don't have sex with each other," I said, very articulate.

"Yet," Blair said simply. I rolled my eyes and Malfoy smirked.

Men.

**Let me be your ruler,**  
**You can call me queen bee.**  
**And baby I'll rule...**  
**Let me live that fantasy.**


	3. If We Make It Through December

**If we make it through December  
Everythings gonna be all right I know  
It's the coldest time of winter  
And I shivver when I see the fallin snow.**

I hate the holidays.

Don't get me wrong. I love presents, and the excellent food, especially all the desserts. What made me hate the holidays, then?

Family.

I was currently shoved into the back of a mini van between Hugo and Lily, with Uncle Harry and my dad in the front seat, with James and Albus in the middle. Harry was driving, thankfully, so we weren't likely to get into a crash. Despite our relevant safety, the clan was talking about…Gryffindor.

Who were the prefects, who was on the Quidditch team, what positions do they play? I know their father, Ginny is friends with their mother…

I awkwardly stared straight ahead, not contributing anything. The cousins and Hugo babbled on about their classes and teachers, their detentions and friend drama (at least the things appropriate for the parents to know).

And finally, my dad noticed me. "How was your year, Rosie?"

I opened my mouth to tell him about it, but before I could Hugo cut in. "She was made the Princess of Slytherin. Can you believe it?"

My dad turned around with a scowl. "You're their Princess?"

No doubt my mum had told him about it from her seventh year, which is when the tradition had started. "Yes, it was announced a few weeks ago."

"So you're a heartbreaker," Uncle Harry said with a knowing smile, looking back through the rear view mirror.

"I suppose," I replied. "I'm not really sure why I was chosen, to be honest."

"I don't like that," my dad stated as he turned to face forward.

"Of course," I muttered.

"It's great that you fit in so well, of course," he continued. "It's just…you'll be the girl everyone's after. I don't think you need that kind of attention."

I quietly smoldered in anger. Who was he to tell me what attention I was allowed? "It's not like that dad, I'm fourteen."

"I know what teenage boys are like at fourteen. Don't date until you graduate, it's what's best."

At that all my cousins snickered at the hypocrite they called Ron Weasley. The rest of the car ride was filled with chatting amongst cousins, which I was literally stuck in the middle of.

We finally made it home to a huge feast laid out by Aunt Ginny and my mum, who had invited all our cousins and grandparents to come. It was nearly as obnoxious as a birthday party. Uncle George brought some mead that the men of the family, minus Grandpa, indulged in. The women of the family, excepting me, all finished cleaning up the food and then sat talking and gossiping about various topics in the den. Despite my family being only four people, we had a large house. But in my experience, even the largest of houses could be dwarfed by the Weasley/Potter clan.

I slipped away, out into the cold night where it was gently snowing. In dark, the path from my house looked long and dreary, made of gravel. The moon was bright, so I slipped on my warm clothing and took a walk.

I knew from past events that I wouldn't be missed. It would even take my mum a while to wonder where I was. I simply didn't fit in with my family. Even in the crowded house I felt completely alone.

They had talked fashion as I was leaving. Looking down, I eyed my sophisticated traveling cloak, black and sleek with silver fastenings. Nobody else in my family dressed like I did. Instead of buying tons of sale items, I saved my money and bought stylish and modern, sleek and sophisticated. It was the Slytherin way. If I were to dress like my family I would stand out like a sore thumb. They were all into bright colors that clashed, big, oversized handmade things, sloppy and wrinkled. Nothing at all like me.

And then there were the personalities themselves. I couldn't stand them sometimes; even my godbrother Teddy, who was a Hufflepuff, felt like he belonged. I knew exactly where the resentment of Gryffindors and Slytherins came from. The personality traits…they didn't match up.

They were brave to the point where they were stupid; they charged headfirst into things. As a Slytherin, I would come in with a plan of action, to ultimately get what I want from those unwilling to give. I'm sly and clever, and ultimately have ambition. To me, a Slytherin is an equal mix of a Ravenclaw and a Gryffindor, while Gryffindor is simply…Gryffindor.

It shouldn't matter, but it does.

I stopped walking and looked around, watching the constellations I could see, which were few considering the bright moon. I looked at the constellations, and was reminded of Scorpius. Turning back to the house, I decided I'd write to him. He'd know what I was going through.

After a while I was able to sneak past the family and up to my bedroom. Grabbing out a piece of paper, I wrote to Scorpius how I felt, and how empty I was inside. Though my room was decorated nicely, it was still shabby compared to my common room and dorm. In this house of Gryffindors, I missed my Slytherin family.

Soon I smelled dinner cooking, so I waited a while before heading downstairs to eat. I was surrounded by everyone, laughing, some slightly drunk, and still managed not to find anyone to talk to.

And so my winter break went. I lounged about, reading, going ahead on my studies, wondering around the lonely roads near my secluded house. With both my parents at work and Hugo gone, there wasn't much to do.

I had to find a window of opportunity to get away. Fiona's family was vacationing in France, so I was hardly invited; Scorpius' family wouldn't want a Weasley over for tea. Cassie was spending family time off on some tropical beach (she's been to so many, I loose track). So came my savior, Addison.

I stepped out of the fire at her house, brushing dirt off my stylish outfit. "Addison!" I called as I walked into the room; it was very sophisticated, and quite the bachelor pad. I knew her house was larger than mine; impressive.

"Come to my room!" she called.

I walked down the hall and up a flight of stairs. There was a balcony overlooking the den, which doubled as the corridor to their second family room. This one was a bit more comfy with plush black leather couches and armchairs, but still very modern. I passed through it and down the corridor to Addie's room.

I opened the door to her room, again larger than mine, to find clothes sprawled out. "Which do you think is better for a day out in the town?" she asked. In one hand she held a dress, young looking and warm, with a cardigan overtop it; the other a very stylish and sleek set of wizard's robes.

"I went modern muggle, so you should too," I said. Ever since the war, muggle things have started to infiltrate the Wizarding world. For instance, their clothes. Old wizards frowned upon it, but popular teenagers, like yours truly, went muggle sheek. I was sporting a pair of dark skinny jeans with a baggy white top, some loose bracelets, and a patterned scarf, along with some very, _very _pricey heels that Addison and Fiona pitched in together to buy me as a birthday present.

"Muggle it is," Addison said, stripping out of her dressing gown and donning the dress. "My dad said he'd pay for whatever we wanted, to put it on his tab."

"You don't have to pay for my things," I said awkwardly. We all knew I wasn't that rich, that my parents made decent money but didn't share a penny. They wanted me to work for my own pay.

"Oh, you just shush," Addie said as she turned for me to zip her dress. "You're saving me from the shame of shopping by myself; I really insist, get whatever you want. Really, my dad doesn't care. He makes more than he even knows; yesterday, his accountant informed him he had an extra sixty thousand galleons he hadn't accounted for," she babbled on.

"How do you loose sixty thousand galleons?" I gasped.

"By letting your daughter and her best friend go shopping," Addison giggled.

"We are so not spending sixty thousand galleons," I scoffed. "Maybe I'll let you pitch in one galleon."

"Whatever. I can be very convincing." I knew she was right; her dad didn't get so rich from sitting back and passively offering business deals; we are Slytherin, and hers was an inherited trait.

We jumped into the floo, heading to the Leaky Cauldron, deciding to hit Muggle London first. With a quick stop to Gringotts (Addison wouldn't even let me go to my vault) we exchanged money for muggle pounds.

And so it began; store after store, bag after bag…I even stopped feeling guilty about spending Addie's money because we had so much fun. When we had more than we could carry, we tossed our muggle bags into the floo back at the Leaky Cauldron and entered Diagon Alley. From there we took the place by storm; I was recognized everywhere because of my parents, and Addison was recognized from her rich father. She didn't even pay in gold; the places simply added it to their tabs.

"I've always been a bit famous, but with you paying for everything and me getting spoiled rotten, I really feel like it," I said as we stopped for a butterbeer at a small cart in the middle of the teeming street.

"I wonder if my dad will even notice," she mused. "You've a bit of foam on your lip," she said with a laugh.

"Thanks," I said, hastily wiping it off.

"Do you want to go anywhere else, or shall we go back to my place?" Addison asked.

"Oh, it doesn't matter to me," I said with a shrug. "Whatever you want to."

"Let's just go back then, maybe get some ice cream," Addie decided.

"Sounds perfect," I replied. Arm in arm we walked back towards the Leaky Cauldron…until a very bright flash nearly scared me.

"Miss Weasley, we've heard you've been crowned Slytherin's Princess," the reporter asked loudly, drawing attention from the busy street. I kept walking, trying to ignore him. "What do your parents think about that?"

"No comment," I replied, pulling Addison by our hooked arms into a small book shop we were next to. "They're like vultures," I complained. "Now that we've gotten older and have a personality of our own, my cousins and I can't walk past the Prophet's building without that," I grumbled.

"At least you're recognized," she replied. "I'm to inherit the third largest fortune in England and I'm just the mystery heiress nobody recognizes."

"Trust me, enjoy it while it lasts. Though I wouldn't be surprised if after today you'll be looked into."

"I can see it now: Rose Weasley in relationship with friend and heiress, Addison Taft. What do her parents think about her coming out of the closet?"

"You're impossible," I giggled.

"Can I help you ladies with anything?" the shopkeeper asked politely, coming up to us with a smile.

"Do you have any books on muggle inventions?" I asked.

"You've come to the right place," the shopkeeper said, leading the way.

Eventually we left, a couple books, and made it to Addison's house. After a pint of ice cream, I reluctantly left for home, all my bags weighing me down. "And you don't want me to pay for any of this?" I asked, one last time.

"No, don't even start this again. Just go try on your new things," she said, pushing me into the emerald flames.

I arrived at my house to see some cousins littered about. "Jeez, did you raid a muggle's house?" James asked, eyeing up all my bags.

"I just went shopping," I said, avoiding eye contact and making my way to my room. Sitting on my desk was Scorpius' owl, patiently waiting with a letter attached to its leg. I put down all my clothes in a pile in the middle of my floor and made my way over to the owl.

_Rose,_

_I'm sorry I haven't responded sooner. My grandmother passed away the day I arrived home, and our house has become a place for visitors of every type to come and give their condolences, while secretly gloating and living off my family's hospitality. It makes me sick, but I can't blame them. _

_How are things going? I know you feel lonely, but try to chat with some of your uncles or aunts, the ones who are more mature and above snide jokes. I'm sorry you haven't been able to visit, but how about the day after Christmas? The burial is today, then Christmas, and I'm free. I'd really like to be around a person who's not constantly asking me about my feelings. Don't worry about your parents, just say you're going to Cassandra's house; none of my family will be home._

_I really do miss you; It's odd not having someone constantly lying on me, or using my chest as a desk. _

_Always, _

_Scorpius _

If possible, I now felt even more lonely than before.

Christmas passed without a hitch, making it one of a kind; I woke and opened my presents, all general gifts from my family, meaning lots of sweets and small accessories. I got a few books from my parents as well as a brilliant peacock feather quill. From Addison I got another pair of shoes (two hundered galleons?), Cassie gave me a book on the history of royalty, Fiona a book filled with unmentionable things, and Scorpius a small silver ring imbedded with emeralds.

Christmas breakfast was nice, just like when we were younger; hot cinnamon rolls right out of the fire, bacon and eggs. I drank a big glass of juice and laughed as Hugo told us a story of a disastrous quidditch practice. We told each other what we received as presents; they were all wearing their 'Weasley' sweaters.

After breakfast, I went (quite reluctantly) to go change into my sweater, which was a deep violet color with a cursive 'R' on the front. I put a collared blouse beneath it, folding the collar and sleeves over the edges of the shirt. That combined with my dark jeans gave it a more sophisticated look. I slipped on my ankle boots and was called down about noon, to floo to the Burrow, my grandparents' house.

I stepped out of the fire, looking around the large room. Apparently, at one time this had been a very shabby, small house. But after the war, granddad Weasley had been pushed higher in the rankings in the Ministry, and his earnings increased a tenfold. The house was now larger, still homey but greatly resembled the Gryffindor common room (or so I'd been told) except with more colors. There were several little circles of seating, being that we had so many family members.

"Happy Christmas, Rose!" My grandmum exclaimed as she walked into the room. She swept me into a big hug which I returned. "Thanks for the sweets and the sweater," I said.

"And thank you for the novels. I do enjoy reading those romances," she said as she patted my cheek.

I stepped back as the fire turned green again, and grandmum called to granddad that the guests were arriving. She greeted Hugo in the same way, and my granddad stepped into the room. He hugged me in greeting; he was getting old now, his hair balding and streaked with white.

Eventually everyone arrived, even uncle Charlie, who quite enjoyed the bachelor life living in Romania. He now owned his own company; he literally captured wild dragons that were terrorizing muggle villages. He worked closely with the Romanian ministry; after all the animal rights acts implemented throughout Europe (because of my mum, of course) it was illegal to harm dragons in any way, so they'd gone a bit wild sometimes. Charlie's company also had a huge sanctuary for dragons, where they could happily breed and live, thinking they were in the wild while being safely away from muggles. He was by far my favorite uncle.

"Rosie," he greeted.

"Charlie!" I exclaimed, giving him a huge hug.

"How's my girl been? I haven't gotten a reply to my last letter." He released me and ruffled my perfect hair.

"Busy, but I knew I'd see you today so I didn't write back. I'm not sure if my owl could have made it to you before you left the country," I explained with a grin.

"I understand," he said, smiling as he started to greet others.

I was alone, once again. Damnit.

Just breathe. Make it through this…you can do it.

I turned to bravely face my cousin Dominique, who was cursing in French at the ashes on her face.

**If we make it through December  
Everythings gonna be all right I know  
It's the coldest time of winter  
And I shivver when I see the fallin snow.**

Due to lack of interest, the updates to this story will be few and far between, unless its popularity picks up and I get a demand to update. Thanks for reading! With love, the BasketCase.


	4. Persuit of Happiness

**Tell me what you know about dreams, dreams**  
**Tell me what you know about night terrors, nothin'**  
**You don't really care about the trials of tomorrow**  
**Rather lay awake in a bed full of sorrow**

Over the course of fourth year, I started to grow up. It started that day at Scorpius' house, when I witnessed his grandfather in a drunk rage, coming home early, and seeing a Weasley girl with his grandson. He had pulled out his wand and started slashing; Scorpius and I started running in fear; luckily, he was drunk and having trouble with his aim.

We were almost out of the sitting room when Scorpius shoved me ahead of him into the corridor. Two steps later Scorpius shouted out, a curse having hit him. My eyes were wide with fear as I pulled out my wand from its spot in my boot, and cast a shield charm. I grabbed Scorpius and started pulling him along, to the next room, slamming the door, fire, floo, _home_…

"Rose?" my dad asked in panic as I collapsed under the weight of Scorpius in our fireplace.

"Daddy," I called, tears in my eyes as Scorpius withered in pain.

I heard my dad yell for my mum; everything was a blur around me as adrenaline rushed my system. Scorpius was lifted off of me and out of the fireplace. I followed, kneeling next to him as my mum waved her wand over him.

"What happened?" dad asked, too calm.

"I went to see Scorpius before I came home, and I…I found him like this. I didn't know what else to do," I said hopelessly through the lie. Scorpius would be angry if I told what had really happened, and I couldn't loose him.

He stopped struggling and calmed down, and my mum sighed in relief. "There," she stated, looking up. "Rose, that was a fire curse. Do you know what that is?"

I shook my head no, still looking at Scorpius. I scooted closer and put his head on my lap, supporting it. His forehead was damp with sweat.

"It was a curse that seizes the muscles, makes them burn like they're on fire. It's incredibly painful; it should be considered an unforgivable," she said darkly. "We should take him to St. Mungo's, just to be sure he's alright."

"No, I don't think he'd want to."

"Rose-"

"He wouldn't," I said firmly. "Scorpius is my best friend, and I know you disapprove, but I know him better than my own brother." I finally looked up into their slightly horrified faces. "Can we let him rest in the guest room next to mine? That way I can hear if he gets up."

My father was quite red in the face, and my mum looking slightly angry, but they both kept calm. "If that's what he would want," mum said. She stood up and conjured a stretcher, levitating Scorpius onto it and started walking up the stairs. I followed to see he was put safely into the bed, my father going back to get a glass of water if he would wake up.

I didn't even feel the tears on my face until my mum reached out and brushed one away. She wrapped her arms around me as I looked at Scorpius, sleeping with a frown on his face. "When you're ready to talk, feel free," she murmured soothingly as she stroked my hair.

"Thank you for not being mad at me," I whispered, trying my hardest to stop crying.

"You're welcome, sweetheart," she said.

.

.

.

They were chasing me again; the shadows, shapeless, reflecting light…magic couldn't stop them, stunning did no good…the shadow morphed into a demonic figure, between a dragon and a human, with the voice of Lucius Malfoy yelling curses; I got hit, I was screaming in pain…

"Rose, wake up," Scorpius murmured, nudging me.

I sat up suddenly, pushing myself from the bed with all the force I could muster. "Oh," I sighed in relief, gently lying back down. I rested my head on Scorpius' bare chest.

"It was just a dream," he said soothingly, rubbing his hand up and down my back, beneath my tank top on my bare skin.

"They're too real," I said. I was still shaking a bit, which I was sure he could feel.

"I've got you," he replied, kissing my forehead. My long red, ruthlessly curly hair spread down my back, keeping me warm.

"Did we put a silencing charm up?" I asked.

"Yes, otherwise someone would have checked on the screaming girl in my bed. They weren't exactly screams of pleasure," he murmured again, obviously tired. I traced my hand over his muscled chest and he hummed in comfort.

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

"It's alright," he replied. "Just try to go back to sleep."

I agreed, if only to let him sleep some more. It was doubtful if I could get any more.

Over the last few months, we'd grown closer than ever. It was now May, and we were leaving Hogwarts soon. What would I do without Scorpius?

Being honest with myself, I didn't think I could last too long without him. I sleep with him a few times a week, whenever I had a particularly hard day; that's when the nightmares came out to play. Scorpius would lead me to his bed and lay down, letting me form myself around him, and wait for the screams.

I'd gotten a few sleeping draughts, but the school's healer didn't want me to get addicted, so she said unless it gets constant to do without.

Lost in my thoughts, I finally drifted off again as the sun rose in the east.

**Tell me what you know about dreams, dreams**  
**Tell me what you know about night terrors, nothin'**  
**You don't really care about the trials of tomorrow**  
**Rather lay awake in a bed full of sorrow**

Wow. I say I don't plan on making updates often, then BAM, 12 reviews asking for one? I now understand why other authors beg for reviews before updating. You guys are flattering. Anyways, this was an extremely short chapter, however another one is already in progress. Thank you to all who reviewed, inspiring me to write more. There may possibly be another update soon, time permitting.


	5. Time

**Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day**  
**Fritter and waste the hours in an off-hand way**  
**Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town**  
**Waiting for someone or something to show you the way**

**Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain**  
**You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today**  
**And then one day you find ten years have got behind you**  
**No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun**

"Rose, why haven't you gone out with Scorpius?" Addison asked me.

Fiona looked up. "That's a good question." My three friends were now gazing intently, waiting for me to answer.

"We're just not like that," I said. I hadn't ever thought about us in that way.

"Why not?" Cassie said. "He's cute."

Very obviously, we all turned to look at Scorpius and his group of friends. "You have to admit he's got a nice butt," Fiona said.

"Yeah, but…it's just not like that," I protested again. "We're too close."

"I'll say. You sleep with him enough," Fiona replied.

"Fi!" I exclaimed.

"We know that's where you are. Don't worry, we know it's not sex," Addie said with a wave of her perfectly manicured hand.

"You know what I think," Cassie said. "I think they're going to be friends through school, both get married and have a few babies, then during their midlife crisis, they'll hook up, saying how they should've done it when they were young and they'll live happily ever after."

"That's romantic," Fiona snorted. "Nothing says true love like a midlife crisis."

I looked out the window of the Hogwarts express, watching as we raced home.

.

Time is a curious thing. When you want it to pass, it drags on, like my summers. They were endless days of heat and family, rare visits of friends, and shopping by owl orders. I locked myself in my room, learning from books or just reading, disappearing into another world…

Then finally, _finally_, before I went crazy, school would start. I would excel, competing for top grades and the house cup, sucking up to teachers, breaking hearts as best I could, loosing the last of my humanity.

But it would return, nights spent with Scorpius, nights out with the girls, nights filled with laughter and tears, jokes and fights, pranks and alcohol. I got older, as time passed. School would fly by, the work easy and my exam scores Outstanding.

Devils would visit me in my sleep, saying things, and I would cut, hate turning my vision red, and Scorpius would spell the demons away, spells of comfort, spells of healing, a kiss to the scars to make them disappear. They came back sometimes, when I was most stressed or most insecure, because I got possessed, and why did I hurt myself? The haze filled my brain, the smoke would take over, because that's what popular rich people did, and it would happen again, and I would fall into Scorpius' arms because he would take care of me. He would always be there.

Fiona got a new boyfriend, and he was older, and she was in love; Addison got richer, her father's fortune now second largest, and she was in tabloids right along my cousins and I, a rich teenager next to the famous ones. Cassie came out to the world, and her girlfriend was a Hufflepuff, and they were happy and didn't care about anything but that.

Scorpius' grandfather died, resulting in a disturbance throughout England's Wizarding population. Some were sad because of his business connections, some were happy because he was the last death eater alive; I'd found out from the papers that his father was the wizard who beat Addison's father in money.

Scorpius was finally free of his burdens; a month after his grandfather died, his mother passed as well. He was alone, owning companies worth more than the muggle Queen. He was busy on weekends, and I helped; we looked over the businesses, now legally adults, and we could be trusted with the businesses, and Scorpius was gaining popularity, being a handsome young wizard, the richest ever, and tabloids were pairing him with Addison, and they could combine forces and create the biggest business empire…

"I hate this," he would say, scowling and lighting the paper on fire.

Paige Avery had graduated; I was now Queen of Slytherin, still not knowing what it was. Sometime during the middle of sixth year, I chose a fourth year, Gwen Black; she grew up in France, but got accepted to Hogwarts. I think she's distantly related to Harry's godfather, Sirius, and she's something like a sixth cousin to Scorpius. But really, with all of Slytherin house, who isn't distantly related?

This girl reminds me of me. She's beautiful, and a heartbreaker, and has a good head on her shoulders. I gave her the list that was given to me, and the same instruction, and she seemed a bit awestruck. I had faith that she would make an excellent Princess.

Time flew by, and then stopped, because it was the summer again, and I didn't have anything to do, but I was now an adult and could apparate. I spent time that summer with my friends, and soon the summer flew by as well, and now…I'm a seventh year, shopping for my supplies.

As we neared King's Cross station, it became all to real. I was seventeen, going into my last year of school.

All I could think was…Finally.

**Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day**  
**Fritter and waste the hours in an off-hand way**  
**Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town**  
**Waiting for someone or something to show you the way**

**Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain**  
**You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today**  
**And then one day you find ten years have got behind you**  
**No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun**

And now the story will begin. Until next time...


	6. Sound of Silence

**Hello darkness, my old friend,**  
**I've come to talk with you again,**  
**Because a vision softly creeping,**  
**Left its seeds while I was sleeping,**  
**And the vision that was planted in my brain**  
**Still remains**  
**Within the sound of silence.**

I walked back through the compartments, to the open cars that Slytherin house always claimed. I passed through the younger kids, and like usual they watched me. My trunk was being levitated behind me, and I flicked my wand to open the doors in front of me. I opened the door to the last compartment on the train. "Rose!" was the general exclamation. I hugged my friends, and we all sat down, talking rapidly.

"Scorpius!" Fiona called out in greeting as the train started moving. I looked up, noticing that he had just entered the car along with Blair.

"Still ignoring Blair?" I asked with a snicker. "I thought that stopped when you started going out with Marcus."

"I like being rude to pricks like Blair."

The guys walked closer to us. "Damn, you're looking fit, Scorpius," Fiona said.

"Okay, the passive aggressive is very annoying," Blair said, frowning at her. "You might as well speak your mind."

"You're a prick," Fiona said. "That better?"

"Much," he said, sitting next to Cassie.

Scorpius sat next to me, resting his arm over my shoulders. "Hello, love," he said.

"Hi," I replied. "I missed you." We still weren't looking at each other, watching as Fiona and Blair bickered.

"It's only been three weeks."

"Three weeks too long," I said.

"Just go out already," Addison said to us.

I didn't reply, simply looked out the window as Scorpius began playing with a piece of my hair.

We got to Hogwarts, settling down in our beds (was it odd I considered Scorpius' bed mine?) and got to sleep.

Dreams came... weird dreams. Dreams of a life which would probably be Addison's future, where I was rich, modeling part time, where I owned a mansion…

And Scorpius was there. We were sleeping together…_sleeping together_. I moaned as his hand traveled up my now bare body, brushing my most sensitive places, and he was starkers as well, and we fit so perfectly, we were so _hot_ together.

And I had a child, in my arms, crying during the night where I left a sleeping Scorpius and went to feed him.

Then we were sending him off on the Hogwarts express, holding hands as our son left, him rubbing my waist suggestively. We apparated home, and started to make love…

"Rose."

My eyes flew open; I was lying next to Scorpius, on my back, my head on the same pillow. My legs were splayed open, one over the side of the bed, the other over one of his. My hand was high on my stomach, over my ribcage, where it had pulled my tanktop up. "Hm?" I asked.

"I just wanted to wake you; I wasn't sure if your dream was okay. You woke me by squirming, and moaning…"

Oh Merlin, kill me now. Did he know what I was dreaming about? My eyes were adjusting, and I flipped over onto him, looking at his eyes, tracing the lines of his upper abdomen. "I don't remember what I was dreaming about," I lied.

"You can tell me."

"I don't want to," I said stubbornly.

"Was it my dad? He's dead, Ro." His hand migrated to the end of my hair, where he liked to play with it.

"No. I'm fine, really," I said. I now fully rested my body on him…Oh my Merlin, was that what I thought it was? Scorpius shifted slightly, almost uncomfortably, and I rolled off of him, just resting my head on his shoulder.

Scorpius was hard…for me? Was I talking in my sleep? I was so embarrassed, I pressed my face into his skin, hiding.

Maybe it wasn't me. Maybe he was having a good dream, as well. "What time is it?" I asked.

"Almost six," he replied.

So maybe it was just his morning friend; I'd heard that happens. Right? "I should get to my dorm," I said, slowly sitting up with a yawn.

Scorpius sat up as well. "See you in class," he said leaning forward and kissing my cheek.

I got up and quickly left, nearly getting caught in his hangings. My face flushed fully now. What's the matter with me? One dream, and now I'm…what am I? Crushing on my best friend? He kisses me all the time, hell we'd kissed on the lips more times than I could remember. And with one kiss to the cheek he had me blushing and tummy flutters.

I thought I'd killed any butterflies with my inhumane, poisonous, ice queen behavior. Damn it!

Would he go for me? Did he ever think of me this way? If it was my first time, maybe he didn't.

"Fiona!" I exclaimed as I got into my dorm.

"What?" she called sleepily.

I ripped into her hangings. "I need to talk to you," I said, flopping down next to her.

"In the middle of the night?" she asked, her eyes still closed.

"I had a sex dream about Scorpius," I whispered.

"What?" she yelled.

"Shh," I scolded. "And I'm so confused. What's happening to me?" I asked.

"Finally!" she exclaimed. "Addie, Cassie wins the bet!"

"What?" now it was my turn to yell.

"She likes him?"

From each side of Fiona's bed the hangings were ripped open, and Cassie and Addie piled on the bed as well.

"I told you guys," Cassie said with a grin. "No way she would've lasted longer."

"So how did it happen?" Addison asked.

"She had a sex dream about him," Fiona informed them.

"Did you ask him out?" Cassie asked.

"No, I didn't," I said with a frown. "You seem to be expecting too much. First, I doubt he has any feelings like that for me-"

"Of course he does. He's a guy," Addison interjected.

"Second, I can't keep a boyfriend for longer than three dates. What makes any of you think I could keep Scorpius?"

"The reason you don't go on anything longer than a third date is because _you_ get bored with them, not the other way around," Fiona pointed out.

"And third-"

"Nobody cares," Fiona interrupted. "Just go out with him already." The other girls nodded along, as if that were a good plan.

"I'm not asking him out," I said flatly. "I don't do that."

"Then get him to ask you," Cassie said.

"How? We've been friends forever. Don't you think if he wanted to go out with me he would've asked by now?"

"Not necessarily, if he knew you would say no," Addie pointed out. "But now that you do…" she trailed off suggestively.

I glanced at the clock. "Let's get going, we've got to get to breakfast. We can talk about this tonight."

We all got up off Fiona's bed and started our morning routines, without too much more about the Scorpius ordeal.

In classes, I couldn't stop myself from glancing at him. He would run his hand through his hair or tap the desk, and my eyes would shoot straight at him. I would hastily turn away, but my eyes followed him all day.

Fiona would catch me staring and grin, elbowing the other girls. "Shut up," I would grouch at them.

We were leaving dinner, all laughing about a Hufflepuff's exploding potion today, when from behind I was grabbed. That wasn't Scorpius…I was flipped around and being snogged, and groped on the bum. Who the hell? I started shoving and biting. "Calm down, Rosie," Richard Vance said, not taking his arms off me.

"What do you think you're doing?" I asked, loudly and coldly.

"Just saying hello to my girl," he said with a cocky grin.

"I'm not your girl," I said, shoving him with one arm, the other still searching for my wand.

I was finally able to reach my wand, and I was about to blast him away from me, but he was already gone. "Mr. Vance, twenty points from Slytherin," an authorative voice said.

I didn't stick around, but fled from the hall as gracefully as I could.

"What an arsehole," Fiona said, linking arms with me.

"No kidding. I thought I was going to have to hex him."

"Why does he think he's with you?" Cassie asked.

"I think because he's the last person I dated before last summer," I said. "What was I thinking?"

"I think it was the drugs and alcohol," Addison said with a giggle. "And nobody's on that anymore, right? We stopped?"

We all nodded our heads. "Things are so much more clear," Fiona said with a nod. "Let's try to keep the partying to a minimum this year."

"Good idea," I said. They had no idea how it all really affected me.

"So are you going to ask Scorpius out?" Cassie said, changing the subject. I knew she really regretted that part of our life, since she didn't even remember whom she lost her virginity to.

"I don't know," I said with a sigh. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"You should try," Addison urged.

"But he probably doesn't think of me that way."

"Whatever. You'll be dating by the weekend at least," Fiona said.

"Who's Rose dating?" Scorpius asked.

I jumped. "Where did you come from?" I asked, now completely paranoid.

"Passage behind Barnabus Cobb," he replied. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I said.

He gave me a look, obviously knowing I was lying. "Okay."

"Why weren't you at dinner?" I asked.

"I wasn't hungry," he lied. I gave him a glare, which he returned with a smirk. Fine.

"You missed the drama," Fiona interjected as we all started walking again.

"What happened?"

"Your roommate Vance started groping Rose in front of the whole school, making a fool of himself."

Scorpius squeezed his hand into a fist. "What happened?"

"He got points off and probably detention," Fiona said with a shrug. "He's an idiot."

"Let me know if he bothers you again," Scorpius said to me, his hand automatically reaching out to rub my arm. I was pulled close to him, almost in a hug, and my face started to turn red. I had to mentally scream at myself to stop it; it took all my self control to keep my emotions from my face. It didn't help that the other girls were snickering; I was getting really embarrassed.

I'd actually hoped these emotions would go away by now. What did it mean, that I was still feeling the butterflies for him?

Kill me now.

We all sat in the common room in our favorite corner, and my friends strategically gave me space with Scorpius, one by one making excuses until we were alone.

"So who are you going to go out with?" he asked.

"Nobody," I said with a sigh. "I'm tired of meaningless dates."

"Growing up already?" he teased, poking my ribs. "What's really happening?"

"I don't know," I lied again.

"Second time you've lied to me today," he said. "Why don't you tell me what that's about?" Whatever he was expecting, it wasn't my whole face to light up like a red balloon. I couldn't stop it. "Now you really have to tell me," Scorpius said, turning to face me.

"You'll just laugh," I muttered. I leaned forward and put my cheek to his shoulder.

"I won't," he promised, kissing the top of my head, making me blush more. "Rose, just say it."

I shook my head, instead folding my arms around one of his.

He pulled me closer, so I was straddling him, and his arms were around me. "When did you stop trusting me?"

Ouch. This whole situation was just getting worse, and on top of that I was blushing like a madman, being so close to Scorpius… "You'll think I'm crazy, and everything will change," I blurted.

He pushed me away, holding onto my shoulders, holding me so he could look at my face, his expression serious. "Rose, what's wrong?" he asked, one last time.

"I-"

"Malfoy, could you help me with…oh, sorry. Am I interrupting?" Blair said with a smirk.

"Yes," Scor said at the same time I squeaked "No."

"Did either of you start the Potions essay?"

"Now's not the best time-" Scorpius said.

"Yes, I did. What did you need?" I asked, getting up from Scorpius' lap.

.

.

.

"Are you sleeping in here?" Fiona asked, surprised as I flopped into my bed.

"Yeah," I replied sadly. "I am."

"What happened?" she said. The girls all piled onto my bed, wanting to hear about it.

"I was so close to telling him," I said. "So close, but Blair interrupted, and I couldn't in front of him, obviously, and then we started homework."

"That prick," Fiona hissed.

"It's fine. But I think everything would've changed, and not in a good way, if I'd told him," I said.

"Or in a very good way," Addison said. "I'm sure he feels the same way about you."

"But what if he doesn't?" I asked.

"I see why you're Slytherin, instead of Gryffindor like the rest of your bloody family," Cassie said with a smirk. "Why can't you just take the chance?"

"I take chances, just not stupid ones," I replied, annoyed. "That's the difference between me and my 'bloody family'."

"Tomorrow," Fiona said, "is a new day. It'll happen for you tomorrow."

I lay there awake, willing sleep to come, tossing around. My pillow was too soft, it sunk, providing no support. Alone, my bed was too cold; I didn't have enough body heat to warm it.

So I gave way to the floodgate of suppressed thoughts that were always there, nudging and poking, wanting to be heard.

Of all people, I trusted Scorpius not to hurt me. I hadn't gone far with any of my dates, ever, because I couldn't trust anyone like that. Not after my first boyfriend, now so many years ago. But I truly believed I could trust Scorpius, that he wouldn't hurt me, that he would wait for me.

That is, assuming he liked me back. What if the reason he wouldn't hurt me, was because I would hurt him first?

Who knows, perhaps I would awake and have no feelings for Scorpius whatsoever. Then I would stay friends with him forever, and everything would go back to normal.

I could only hope, here in the dark, quiet room, that nobody could hear my racing heart, beating loud and clear, telling me, "yeah, right, keep dreaming".

**Hello darkness, my old friend,**  
**I've come to talk with you again,**  
**Because a vision softly creeping,**  
**Left its seeds while I was sleeping,**  
**And the vision that was planted in my brain**  
**Still remains**  
**Within the sound of silence.**

* * *

**A/N: I hope you, the readers of this half-decent fanfic, have been paying attention to the lyrics. I don't write a chapter until I find a song to inspire, and they are there for a reason. But that's just me, a complete music nerd. Thanks for reading! If I continue to get a good response, I will continue to write, simple as that. **

**Also, sorry about the confusing timeline. Yes, Scorpius' dad is dead, his grandfather was abusing him. And now they are in seventh year. The reason the last two chapters were blurry and confusing is because that's how they were for Rose. Now she's awoken out of her haze, and the story will continue as the first chapters were.**


	7. Demons: 1

**This chapter may be intense, so this is a warning. Self harm and inner demons...if this feels uncomfortable to read, don't worry, because the next chapter will be a smooth sail from the previous one, meaning you can simply skip this and not miss much. However, I'm not stopping you. Go ahead, enjoy if you can.**

* * *

**When you feel my heat**  
**Look into my eyes**  
**It's where my demons hide**  
**It's where my demons hide**  
**Don't get too close**  
**It's dark inside**  
**It's where my demons hide**  
**It's where my demons hide**

"Where were you last night?" Scorpius asked the next morning at breakfast.

"Miss me?" I teased.

"Always," he replied, placing his hand on my thigh.

My heart fluttered, and my pulse sped up.

The rest of my friends surrounded us in conversation, and soon the post came. "Uh, Rose, Addie, Scorpius…I think you should look at this," Fiona said. She passed her magazine across the table, and I immediately scowled.

"What is it?" Addison asked from her spot across the table by Cassie.

"Allow me to read," I said angrily. "Drama within the teenage Wizarding world?" I held up the front cover to where Scorpius and I were on the front page, walking, him with an arm around me. He leaned in and kissed the side of my forehead, and at the very end of the picture frame, Addison ran into it, glaring and crossing her arms.

Turning the magazine to the fourth page, I continued with the story. "It basically talks about how Scor and Addie could marry and create a huge business empire, while the Slytherin Queen, daughter of two war heroes, is getting in the way, and how Addison is apparently threatening me because I am a threat to her own marriage to Scorpius," I said, finishing scanning the article. There was another picture, where the group of us girls were talking. "They say we've been best friends up until now, when our rivalry over the Malfoy inheritance started."

I handed the magazine to Addison, and she looked at the picture. "Wow, I should go into acting. Look how angry I look!"

"Yes, it's very convincing," I said dryly. I looked at Scorpius; just from his face, I knew he was angry for us but didn't care about his own publicity. "Next time you fake anger over me not buying the two hundered galleon shoes, make it look less genuine."

"They were excellent shoes," she said with a pout. "I had the blue, you could've gotten the gray."

"We are not starting this again," I said with a laugh. "Come one, let's get to class and get good seats. Last time, I was within spitting range." We got up and started walking, Scor and Blair tagging along as well, still laughing about the magazine, when…

"Rose." Albus' calm, clear voice echoed through the stone corridor.

I turned. "Yes?"

"A word, please." He looked…dangerously calm. Worse than my grandmum Weasley.

"Save me a seat," I called out as I walked towards Albus. "What did you need?"

"I saw that article today. Are you dating Malfoy?" he asked harshly.

"No, but would it really matter if I was?" I said, irritated. "I thought we got over this Slytherin rivalry-"

"It's not Slytherin rivalry," he hissed. "It's Malfoy rivalry. I still don't see how you can be so close to him, knowing what his father did to your _mother_-"

"In case you didn't get the memo, Scorpius is the last living Malfoy-"

"So you're in it for the fortune-"

"How _dare_ you-!"

"How dare _you_-!"

"Albus Severus Potter, I've never hated you more!" I outright screamed. Wrong choice, Rose…students were starting to spill from the Great hall; the first toll of the clock tower rang.

"And I've never been more disappointed in you," he whispered. "You don't deserve to be a part of this family. You don't deserve the name Weasley," he hissed as he got closer to my face. "And you definitely don't deserve to be Gryffindor. I finally understand why you were discarded into the snake nest."

His words rang in my head, but I refused to be angry. Not with so many people watching. "Why would I want to be in Gryffindor, when I get to be a snake," I replied, now hiding behind my Queen's mask. "You will regret this," I said simply, before walking away.

As soon as the hall was empty, I ran. Sprinted, actually, dropping my bag, towards my common room, to my dorm, into the bathroom, just in time to empty my stomach of all my breakfast.

Through my tears, I brushed my teeth, and pulled back my hair. I slipped my shoes off, loosened my tie, pulled off my sweater. But then they came…the demons.

_Your own family has disowned you. You are a disappointment, a blemish in their perfect lives. You didn't deserve to be a part of the family; they should've done you off as a baby. Then you wouldn't be here now, causing problems…but it's the same, really, because nobody cares. Not a single person in your family cares about you; you may as well not exist. Nobody would even miss you…_

I scratched my perfect nails, hard, into my thighs, from near the kneecap up, and drew blood. I clutched my head, trying to stop it's pounding…the smoke, I needed it, damnit, why did I not buy any…

_How long would it take your family to notice? How many minutes, hours, days, would it take before they would notice you gone? Would anyone cry? Would anyone even show up at the funeral? You're nothing, but a piece of dirt on the family crest. You're a rotten Slytherin, thrown where nobody in your family would give you a second look._

I was now covered in blood; where was it coming from? My body was shaking, I hardly noticed the huge sobs, or the pain from the stabbing, the slicing, the cutting, the slick, systematic sting from the tip of my burning hot wand. My thighs, my wrists, turning scarlet like the colors of the family who so detested me…

_You're nothing, nobody, and nothing will ever come from your life. You were worthless, your virtue worthless, taken by a boy without a single hesitation while you struggled, you shouted, you cried…and then you stopped, froze, because deep down, you know you deserved it, you were practically asking for it, and your virginity was worth nothing. You are worth nothing. You are worth _nothing.

Physical pain was better than emotional, mental pain…

"Rose."

My neck whipped around to the doorway, my eyes huge because I couldn't close them. Scorpius, Scorpius…I didn't even realize I was talking aloud as he knelt next to me, gently, always so gently, tugging my wand from my grip, taking his own, healing the cuts as I continued my silent sobbing; flicking his wand to clean my blood, from the floor, from the walls, from my clothes, from my skin, my face…

And he picked me up from the floor, taking me out, away, to his bed, to my safe place, to where I belonged.

"I care," he said. Because that's exactly what I needed to hear, because deep down inside, just one person, one person to smile at me, one person to hold me, was enough. It was enough for me to keep breathing.

Scorpius murmured a spell, and I was asleep, the last thing I remember his voice telling me that he cares about me.

.

I woke up, my head on Scorpius' chest, him systematically stroking my hair as he read a textbook. He felt me shift, and looked down, into my eyes… "They're gone," he said, relieved. "They're gone."

"Thank you," was all I could whisperer. I wouldn't, I couldn't be embarrassed about it in front of Scorpius, because I've done the same for him. We were both…damaged.

"The thing about damaged people," he said, "Is that they know they can survive."

Was he reading my thoughts? I nodded slowly, absorbing his words.

"You're a fighter; you've done so well. Don't you fucking give up on me, Rose. We've gone so far."

I started crying again. I clenched my jaw and my fists, trying to stop. "There's nothing weak about crying," he said, once again reading my emotion straight from…my soul? No other possible option. "Crying means you're alive," he finished in a whisper, kissing the top of my head.

"I need to get out of here," I said.

"How can you run from what's inside your head?" he asked. "Stay here, with me. Stay with me, Rose. We need each other."

"I need to feel again," I whispered, my voice sounding off.

"What do you need?" he asked.

I looked down, at my wrists, little pink lines scattered about which would be completely healed soon. "No," he said roughly, pulling my face up to look at his, which was very close. Close enough to cause a flutter.

I found my humanity. It was with Scorpius.

I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. He didn't move away, and neither did I, until I started moving mine against his and he sucked in air, possibly from surprise, as I put myself onto him, and I nipped his lip, and we were snogging, our tongues fighting. My hands wound into his hair and his found my waist.

He didn't question me; he knew this was what I needed. He asked, and I showed. I needed him, in every way. In every except, as his hand drifted, my body froze. "Rose?" he asked, slightly panicked. "Are you okay?"

I hardly heard him. I was frozen, unsure, but my body was giving me mixed signals about being touched, because I _cared_ and last time, I said no, and, and, and…

"I need to know," I whispered, still completely still.

He didn't have to ask what I was going to say. He knew me better than I knew myself. "I love you."

"I love you too." In that moment, I knew it. I'd loved him all along.

The doorknob moved; I pushed Scorpius down, and fell onto him, snuggling like there was nothing going on, like I was just sleeping there with him as I'd done so many times before, where his roommates had seen me in the mornings.

**When you feel my heat**  
**Look into my eyes**  
**It's where my demons hide**  
**It's where my demons hide**  
**Don't get too close**  
**It's dark inside**  
**It's where my demons hide**  
**It's where my demons hide**

* * *

**I was hesitating, switching back and forth between posting this or not. I decided I'd invested too much time, and to hell with it, this is my own damn story. **

**On that note, if you're reviewing, please be kind, because this story has quite the emotional aspect of it, specifically for me. I don't want to hear any bullshit about how it's unrealistic or it couldn't happen like that, okay?**

**Thank you all for dealing with my mini rant^. Sorry about that! **

**Love, the BasketCase.**


	8. Demons: 2

**So, if you decided to skip last chapter, here's what you need to know:**

_I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. He didn't move away, and neither did I, until I started moving mine against his and he sucked in air, possibly from surprise, as I put myself onto him, and I nipped his lip, and we were snogging, our tongues fighting. My hands wound into his hair and his found my waist._

_He didn't question me; he knew this was what I needed. He asked, and I showed. I needed him, in every way. In every except, as his hand drifted, my body froze. "Rose?" he asked, slightly panicked. "Are you okay?"_

_I hardly heard him. I was frozen, unsure, but my body was giving me mixed signals about being touched, because I cared and last time, I said no, and, and, and…_

_"I need to know," I whispered, still completely still._

_He didn't have to ask what I was going to say. He knew me better than I knew myself. "I love you."_

_"I love you too." In that moment, I knew it. I'd loved him all along._

_The doorknob moved; I pushed Scorpius down, and fell onto him, snuggling like there was nothing going on, like I was just sleeping there with him as I'd done so many times before, where his roommates had seen me in the mornings. _

* * *

**I wanna hide the truth  
I wanna shelter you  
But with the beast inside  
There's nowhere we can hide**

**.**

**Don't wanna let you down  
But I am hell bound  
Though this is all for you  
Don't wanna hide the truth**

I lay there, wrapped in Scorpius' arms. "Is she asleep?" Blair's voice asked.

"Yes," Scorpius replied.

"What happened?"

"Just a little family drama," he replied. "Her cousin was yelling at her this morning, and she needed to get away for a while." That was a bit of an understatement.

"So are you two together yet?"

"I don't know, Blair," he said with a sigh. "I really hope so. I need her, but…I could be bad for her." Where was this coming from?

"How?" Blair asked. I heard him switching his books out; it must be between lessons.

"I have so many problems," He murmured, stroking my back. "She deserves better."

"You need to cheer up. And when she wakes up, snog her like the world is ending. See where that gets you," he said with a laugh.

"I just don't want her to regret anything, especially when it comes to me. She needs to know I would never hurt her."

"Then tell her that," Blair advised. "Are you coming to class?"

"No, I'm going to stay here with her."

"I'll take notes then," Blair said. "See you." I heard the door open, and close again.

We were quiet; I didn't move. My mind was processing. Finally, I spoke. "You've got it wrong."

"What to you mean?" he murmured. He pulled me closer, on top of him.

"You aren't bad for me. I'm bad for you."

"Rose-"

"You deserve better than me."

He pulled my chin up, and I was looking into his serious face. "There is no one better."

"I could hurt you," I whispered.

"Never. And if you left me, I would know it was because you would be happier without me. And as long as you're happy, I'll be happy."

"Scorpius, is this happening?" I asked.

He broke into a smile. "Yes. Finally." Our lips connected, and he kissed me gently but passionately. He broke away. "But we need to talk about this."

"Hm?" I asked.

"Rose, you can't forget your past, no matter how hard you try. What happened earlier was proof; as soon as my hands moved, you froze."

"You love me," I remembered, my face lighting up.

He laughed at my delighted expression. "And you love me."

"You won't hurt me," I said.

"And you won't hurt me," he repeated.

"I've wondered," I said. "What it would be like, I mean, to have sex with someone who loves me, who I love. All my friends say sex is amazing…"

"We won't until you're ready," Scorpius said.

"What if I am?" I asked hesitantly, not looking at him.

"You aren't," he stated.

I didn't question him. He knew me better than I knew myself. "Merlin, I love you," I mumbled. Now that I knew it…it seemed too obvious to hide. It was warm, filling me up with joy, and I leaned forward and kissed him, my hands tangled in his hair.

"Do you want to go to class?"

"Can we still make it?" I asked.

"Maybe if we hurry."

I sighed. "I suppose it wouldn't be the best thing ever if we missed all our classes on the second day of school."

"No, it probably wouldn't," he agreed. "Let's get going, then."

We sat up, and somehow he had my bag, and we hurried down the hall towards the Potions dungeon; luckily, we were close. We slipped inside the door just as the clock tower tolled, a small sound in the distance.

Scorpius and I sat at the last table, which already consisted of Blair and Graham, another of Scorpius' roommates. "Feeling better?" Graham asked me. I politely nodded and turned my attention to the front of the room as the lesson began.

.

"Blair told us why you skipped this morning," Addison said with sympathy. I hated sympathy. "How are you doing?"

We were walking towards lunch, after Potions. "Much better. As long as we keep Albus' ass away from me, I'll keep doing better."

"It was so sweet of Scorpius to stay with you. I don't know how he found out before us, he must have backtracked," Fiona said.

"Yeah, he's great," I agreed.

"What happened?" Fiona pressed.

I didn't know if I was ready for everyone to find out about us yet. It wasn't just some date in Hogsmeade, or a rendezvous to an empty classroom…it was Scorpius, and we love each other.

We love each other…

So why couldn't I let the world know? Why would that be such a bad thing?

"I think…" I hesitated. "I think we're together now." I was careful about what I said anyway. Would it freak them out if I said I was in love with him?

However, saying that let out a round of shrieks loud enough to draw the attention of the whole hall; of course I confessed that as we walked into where the whole student body sat. "Finally!" was the common cheer, and they all chatted excitedly but I didn't hear anything because I had just made eye contact with Scorpius, who was standing next to the table, looking at me with a genuine smile, and my heart stopped.

I kept walking until I was next to him; he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me into half a hug. I was extremely self conscience at the moment, because half the students and staff were still looking at me, and I pressed my cheek into his defined bicep. "I take it you told them," he murmured.

"Yes," I whispered.

"Good. Then I can do this," he said quietly as he leaned down and kissed me on the lips.

An explosion went off across the Slytherin table, at least that's what I thought as I jumped, tearing myself from Scor. Of course it was just a lot of excited squeals and clapping and cheering from our friends, but all the same, it broke a perfect moment.

I hastily sat down, as I was drawing everyone's attention once again. "So what made it finally happen?" Cassie asked.

"Well…" Honest or not? Obviously, not. I wasn't honest with anyone but Scorpius. "You know I had that dream-"

"Dream?" Scorpius interjected.

"I'll tell you later-" I said, but got cut off by Fiona.

"I'm sure you will," she said suggestively as she wagged her eyebrows.

"But we were just laying next to each other, like always, and he was just so close, and I…kissed him," I confessed.

"You didn't do it first?" Blair asked Scor accusingly.

"I've kissed her plenty before," he defended himself. "She just never took it like that."

"This had better last more than a weekend," Addison said as she pointed her fork at me. "If it doesn't, I'm using a permanent sticking charm on you two."

"Oh, just shut it," I teased, in a very good mood. "You aren't scary."

"But I'll tell you who is," Cassie said darkly, looking over my shoulder.

I followed her line of sight to see Albus walking purposefully towards me. "I'll get rid of him," Fiona offered, starting to get up.

"No, I'll get him," I said, my temper rising to a boiling point, just from the mere sight of him. I stood up and walked, meeting him near the staff table. Luckily they weren't paying attention, most of the staff not even present. "You really want to do this here?" I asked calmly.

"I'm sure everyone in the school will know about this soon enough anyway," he said, just as calm. "Did I not make myself clear earlier? You're disgracing the family by associating with that Malfoy boy. You might as well be physically torturing your mother, from what this will do to her emotionally."

All my frustration was building, to this point. This was the last straw. I refused to show any weakness, only power, anger, but how…?

In frustration I threw my hands up into the air, my fists opening up as my fingers flared out, and…Huge crashing, cracking, shattering noises filled the room, and students screamed, ducking and covering their heads as every window in the Great Hall shattered.

"Calm down!" Professor Longbottom yelled, his voice magically enhanced. He waved his wand and all the windows fixed themselves, the glass flying upwards to create smooth perfection once again.

The hall was now completely silent, so people were listening intently to what Professor Longbottom was saying. "You two are cousins. Stop fighting and get along, because you won't have each other forever. I understand you have problems, but please work them out where others will not be in harm's way. Ten points from each of your houses-No arguing, Albus-and, on a side note, stop making Rose angry. I've never seen such an excellent use of wandless magic. Now, back to your meals."

I turned and walked back towards the table, my head raised and my sights set on my friends, so as I focused on being confident, I almost missed the clapping and whistling coming from the tables, excluding Gryffindor. I smirked, looking back at Albus who was clenching his jaw in anger, the spitting image of his father.

"Remind me never to piss you off," Fiona said. "Have you been practicing wandless magic?"

I didn't want to let them all know that it was an accident, so I merely shrugged. "Pass me the pumpkin juice?"

.

"So, this dream," Scorpius asked as he lied down on his bed.

I followed, snuggling close and running my hand over his toned chest. "The reason I was acting so…strange…is because I had a dream about you," I confessed.

"A dream," he said, sounding amused. "What did we do in this dream?"

"I'd rather not tell you," I said. "Let's just say it was enough to keep me blushing every time you touched me."

"And you didn't want to tell me this, why?" His hand was running up and down my back, tracing my spine.

"I didn't think you felt the same," I told him.

"I do."

"But when?"

"When did I fall in love with you?" he asked. "That's difficult, because I'm not exactly sure. In second year, I learned I could trust you. In fourth year, I knew I needed you. In fifth, I knew I wouldn't ever be able to let you go…so sometime between fifth year and now?"

"That's quite the large gap of time," I said.

"I remember when you went out with Richard Pohler, thinking I was so much better than him, and how we should be going together instead."

"Very true," I replied.

"What about you?" he asked. "When did you know?"

"When did I know?" I laughed. "When you told me, I knew. But I think I have, for a while, but I didn't know, until I knew…did that make any sense?" I asked.

"A bit." We were quiet, but then he said, "Are you absolutely sure you want to be with me?"

I pulled myself up, looking at him. "Yes, why?"

"You know me. You know me better than anyone, and I'm just afraid I might hurt you. Life with me wouldn't be the easiest."

"Do not start this with me," I grouched. "We both know that I don't deserve you, that I'm a crazy who hurts herself and has nightmares and-"

"But you're not any worse than me-"

"I'm so much worse-"

"Let's agree to disagree-"

"I love you." That stopped the argument.

"I love you as well," he said, pulling my chin up to kiss me. "Let's just make sure you feel that way tomorrow."

"Alright," I said, shaking my head to try and clear it of the daze his kiss gave me. "Good night."

"Good night."

And for the first time in so long, I slept peacefully, no bad dreams, no tossing and turning. I was at ease.

**I wanna hide the truth  
I wanna shelter you  
But with the beast inside  
There's nowhere we can hide**

**.**

**Don't wanna let you down  
But I am hell bound  
Though this is all for you  
Don't wanna hide the truth**


	9. XO

**In the darkest night hour **  
**I'll search through the crowd **  
**Your face is all that I see**  
**I'll give you everything**

* * *

The next morning at breakfast, an owl I didn't recognize stopped in front of me and held out its leg, where a letter was attached with my name. I tore it open and started reading, automatically looking at the bottom to see who it was from first. My eyebrow raised as I saw the scrolling script signed Paige Avery.

_Dear Rose,_

_I hope your year is going great. It seems like so long ago that I was in school, when in reality it was quite short. I won't bore you with details of my life, but I'm doing well and have the job I wanted, working for the Department of International Cooperation. I get to travel all the time and put my trilingual brain to use!_

_Anyways, I was writing to tell you that, at long last, I have discovered what it is to be Slytherin's royalty. Apparently, I'm a late bloomer, since I was supposed to figure it out in seventh year. I hope you do, meaning you'll figure it out soon. However, once you do, it will make complete sense. I will tell you as soon as I can, however I would like you to write me back, to make sure I can tell you! It's practically killing me, seeing as I was never that great at keeping secrets._

_I've heard from my little brother that you and Scorpius Malfoy are going out, after being best friends for years. Tell me about him, don't hold anything back. I want to know everything, understand? I won't tell anyone else, if that's what you're worried about. _

_Best wishes, _

_Paige Avery_

I was puzzled and bursting with curiosity. I immediately dug in my bag and brought out parchment for a reply; luckily most of the table seemed to be lethargic and didn't give a damn of anything but their food.

_Dear Paige, _

_I am surprised to hear from you, but also very relieved; I was beginning to think the secret of being Queen is that there isn't a secret. I'm glad you know, and if you were here in person I would glue you to a chair until you told me. _

_Life at Hogwarts is the same; Gwen Black, our Princess, is doing us justice; she's perfect, very smart, and sticking to the motto. _

_But with Scorpius, I'm not sure about our motto, because I love him. But that scares me, because so many things could happen, and I still think, at the very back of my brain, that it would be better for me to not get attached. I'm constantly battling myself over him, to keep it up or not? We haven't even had a first real date, for Merlin's sakes. I'm split, because after sticking to the code…I suppose it's part of me. _

_But of course, you must know this._

_He's perfect in every way. I have to see where this goes, don't I? I have to follow it though. But what will people think of the Royalty who fell in love? What will people think, that I've fallen off my throne? I've got a split mind, Scorpius or tradition? I don't think you'd like the way my mind is leaning. And what happens if we split up? Not only will I have had my heart broken, but I would've lost my best friend, not to mention what everyone else will think. You understand how often the Queen is being scrutinized. Everyone is watching, waiting for this to crash and burn…when this only happened yesterday. That being said, your little brother must be quite the gossip. _

_Let me know what the secret is, okay? I'm dying to know._

_Best wishes,_

_Rose_

I was glad to see the owl was still there, as if it knew I was writing a reply. I folded the letter into a sort of triangle shape and placed it in the bird's beak, hoping that was secure enough. It took off and I hoped it would make it back to Paige.

"Who was that to?" Fiona asked sleepily as she stirred her cup of tea.

"Just an old friend," I murmured tiredly. It was going to be a long day.

.

.

Love is strange.

I was sitting next to Scorpius in Herbology, which was a theory lesson today, and I already knew it…so my mind wondered.

What possesses you to love someone? What's the difference between friendship and love? And the difference between family love and romantic love…you just pick someone, and your brain says _that's the one_. In the end, do you really have a choice? I suppose that's why it's called 'falling' for someone…it just happens, like the universe pushed you off a cliff and into a deep pit you couldn't make your way out of without getting your heart broken.

Why do I love Scor? I glanced sideways at him and he met my gaze, with a smile of his own. My stomach filled with flutters and I looked away towards the front of the classroom where the professor was talking. We were friends first, such close friends, and we know everything about each other. We're so close we'd become inseparable. But what made me want to kiss him? Besides that situation…hormones? But I'd like to think my love was based off a little more than an urge every teenager has.

Of course it is. I love him, with every part of me, my body, mind, spirit…why hadn't I known sooner? Everyone else knew I loved him but me. I love his mind, his talents, his looks, his laugh, the way he holds me, the sound of his heartbeat…and the way he seems to love me despite all my problems. He holds me through attacks of low self esteem, through the demons in my mind attacking, through the tears of self loathing…he is my rock, my world, and I'm too scared to think of what would happen if he ever left me. I need him too much.

I reached out and grabbed his hand under the table we sat at. He smiled at me and set his hand on my lap where I could hold his with both mine. His thumb started stroking my hand…touching.

Always touching.

I'd never really thought much of it before. Fiona had mentioned it before, how she and the others thought it was odd. We were always touching, from hands to bodies. If he stood next to me, his arm would touch mine, or his chest was against my back. If we were sitting next to each other, our thighs would be pressed together or I may have been on top of him.

Fiona thought that was solid proof we had been sleeping together for a good year before. I suppose I got her point, though. Nobody else was like that, not even together couples. If he shifted, I followed, always, and vice versa; we were connected. Literally.

Yet it hadn't ever affected me quite in the way it was now. He touched me and my pulse sped up, the more contact the more my blush spread. Why was it always so obvious?

And now along with the touching, there was kissing. Not kissing like before…it was the same, sometimes, really; just different. Different because I knew he wasn't being nice or comforting, although he may be…how do I put this? It's the same but different…because we are in love, and his kisses affect me like they'd never done before.

I love him.

I looked over to where Scorpius was writing with his free hand, scratching down some notes. He smiled and squeezed my hand, though he didn't look back at me.

But it hurt. My love for him hurt my chest; it was overwhelming me and filling me in ways I didn't know was possible. I now know that what I thought I felt for Abernathy, back so long ago, wasn't love. It didn't hold a candle to my feelings for Scorpius.

The bell rang, and I got up, still lost in thought, as I packed my things. I turned and followed the class out the door, Scorpius next to me, our hands constantly brushing against each other.

"What do you want to do tonight?" he asked as we headed to the great hall for lunch.

"Just relax, I suppose, after homework. It's already being piled on," I complained, remembering the essay Longbottom had assigned, a whole scroll due tomorrow.

"We'll make it though. Just one more year," he said assuring as he brought his arm up and around to rest on my shoulders.

We can do it.

.

.

.

"How is it that every time something embarrassing happens, you're the one to see it?" I asked Cassie as I picked myself up off the floor, hastily wrapping my towel around myself.

"I'm just lucky enough to be around…and you're lucky I don't carry a camera."

We laughed as she held out a hand to pick me up off the floor. "You can just pretend you didn't see any of that. When we tell this story we could say I was fully dressed," I said, pulling the towel on more securely as I followed her out of the bathroom.

"No way, but nice try," Cassie said. "I think it's the naked part that makes the story funny."

"Thanks," I said, shaking my head as I got dressed.

"And it's not like I haven't seen it all before," she said with a giggle. "Remember, truth or dare second year-"

"I don't even want to think about that," I replied with a grimace.

"That's also your first kiss, right?" she said with a smirk.

"Yeah, I suppose," I said with a nod. I'd been dared to kiss Abernathy…

"Mine too," she said with a grin.

"And the poor guy turned you gay," I teased.

"Oh, there you two are," Fiona said from the doorway, opening it to reveal her and Addison. "Scorpius is looking for you, Rose," she said. "But Graham's got a bottle of firewhisky, so we should all crash the guys' dorm," she finished.

"Whatever," Cassie said with a shrug.

"They won't care, they think lesbians are hot," Addison said, reaching out and taking Cassie's hand as we all walked down the corridor.

"I'm sure this will help," she said, indicating their interlocked hands.

"Here," I said, reaching out towards Addison. I unbuttoned her shirt a bit, loosened the tie so it hung low, and rolled up her sleeves. I reached out and scrunched her hair for a bit of volume. "There, sexy."

Addie reached out and started doing the same for me, but I wasn't wearing a tie and she ruffled my hair to make the curls a bit more wild. "Back at you," she said when she finished.

We walked towards the boys' dorm. Unlike Gryffindor tower, which has a staircase between each set of dorms (according to Hugo) Slytherin was flat, just a pair of long corridors that reached far under the lake, the path very antique looking stone.

I knocked on their door before opening it and stepping inside. "I've brought some friends," I said to the room at large.

I made my way over to Scorpius' bed where I sat next to him, watching the other girls find a place in the room, two on a bed, Addison sitting next to Wyatt Yaxley. They'd been on and off, dated a few times, nothing too serious, but they still got along alright. "Thanks for bringing your friends, this time," Yaxley said with a wink at Addison.

Addie rolled her eyes. "Thanks to Graham for bringing firewhisky," she replied.

"Shall we play a drinking game?" Richard Vance said as he winked at me.

"No, let's just split it equally," Fiona piped up. "That way we all get some from the tiny bottle."

"Tiny bottle?" Graham Avery said with a raised eyebrow. "I'll have you know it's enough to get quite a few people drunk."

"Fiona's got an alcohol tolerance to rival a sailor's," I teased.

"What, going to shatter a window at me?" she replied with a roll of her eyes."

"How did you do that?" Blair spoke up from his place on his bed, sitting back leisurely.

"Yeah, how?" Cassie said with a nod.

"I have no idea, I was just so angry," I said with a shrug. "I haven't tried it again."

"Don't worry, we'll spread rumors that you're some brilliant witch who can blink and make the castle crumble," Fiona said as she accepted firewhisky. "We'll scare those Gryffindors off."

"Try it now," Blair requested. "Do the mirror."

I shrugged, and glared at the mirror like it was trying to hex me. "No dice," I replied.

"So you have to be angry?" Addison said as she walked up to me, handing Scorpius and I firewhisky.

"I suppose…" I trailed off doubtfully. Then my whole body went stiff as I watched Addison swoop down and plant a very wet kiss on Scorpius' lips. He seemed shocked too, and I squeezed my hands to fists as I heard a loud cracking noise. Everyone else jumped, and I realized what Addison was doing a second later.

I looked around to see the damage; the mirror had cracked, as well as the firewhisky bottle shattering. I waved my wand at the bottle and it repaired itself as well as refilled itself. "That spell works for firewhisky too," I murmured thoughtfully. I turned to Addie. "Never kiss him again," I told her with a glare, and the mirror shattered, making us all jump.

"Well, never make Rose angry," Scorpius said lightly as he wrapped an arm around me.

"No kidding," was the general reply as Blair fixed the mirror and took a sip of whiskey.

"You could've let me know what you were doing…but that would ruin it," I said, still frowning at Addison.

"Exactly," she said with a nod. "I'll buy you a pair of shoes to make up for it," she offered.

"Buying her love, cute," Cassie put in.

"Oh, just shut it. We can all go shopping at Hogsmeade, before we split up for dates," Addison said excitedly. "What about looking for dresses for our graduation ball?"

"So, think we'll beat Ravenclaw in Quidditch?" Blair asked loudly, making us all giggle.

.

.

.

I ended up staying in Scorpius' bed, which wasn't the unusual part…that was the fact that I did it so obviously. I got a few glares from Vance, but Scorpius glared back and he turned away. "No sex," Graham said, looking at each of us straight in the eye. "I don't think I could sleep if I thought you two were doing it right next to me."

"Want us to leave the hangings open?" I asked sarcastically.

"Hm," he said, considering.

"Shove off. We won't be doing it when any of you are around, much less snoring and grinding teeth," Scorpius put in as I shimmied out of my robes and Scorpius handed me a large casualwear shirt. I stepped onto his bed and waved my wand so the hangings shut as I changed, then dropped my clothes to the floor and settled down in the bed, casting a silencing charm.

It was weird, knowing that the others knew for sure I was there. They'd seen me a few times, but never before they went to sleep. I didn't know how I felt about that, how they felt about that…but soon I fell asleep snuggling into Scorpius and forgot all about it.

I was here to stay, and they'd all have to deal with it.

* * *

**In the darkest night hour**  
**I'll search through the crowd **  
**Your face is all that I see**  
**I'll give you everything**

* * *

A/N: Updates will come when they come, when I feel encouraged to write, when inspiration strikes. I'm sorry to whoever the 'Guest' or multiple of you are who keeps asking for another update; your reviews do help :)


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